Monday, April 6, 2009

A Sudden Burst of Emotion...

It was sunny. Finally. Seattle was in much need of sun and little did I know, so did I.

I took Jasmine to Coulon Park to get some sun and to finally be outdoors without a jacket. We walked around the lake and sat at some benches to just have some mother/daughter time and to joke around.

Soon enough, it was time to go but as we were walking through the grass (well, Jasmine was running) I spotted a granddaughter with her grandmother sitting on the grass with a picnic basket and an umbrella over them. The granddaughter was taking photos of her grandmother and they were laughing and having a good time.

Then I felt the tears.

It completely caught me off guard. It has been 3 years since my grandmother's passing and I thought I had dealt with it and moved on already so for tears to come so sudden was definitely surprising. I tried to gather myself and not stare so much at the granddaughters happiness on her face but it was uncontrollable. I called for Jasmine and walked fast. I stopped at a bench and held Jasmine tight and sobbed into her. She held me tight as I held her and afterwards she looked up at me and wiped my face. 'It's okay, Mommy...big girls don't cry'. It's amazing how you tell things to your children and all they do is turn it around back at you and all you can do is accept it.

After driving home with lots of thinking, I have once again realized how short life is, not to sweat the small stuff and to hold on to your loved ones. This is part of the reason I became a photographer. I always took photos and video of my family, on holidays even everyday. I look back at these photos and video all the time. It's great to be remembered of what matters most to you because with jobs and life you can forget these things. Sad to say I lose more of my memory of my grandmother, 'Lola' everyday but am very blessed with the video and photos I have of her to hold onto forever.

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